Tippy Toes: The Beginning

Today was day one on our journey to correct Mallory's toe walking. This morning we went to the Children's Hospital to see an orthopedic specialist.

I've always known something wasn't quite right, but I let other people's comments and opinions drown out that "mommy voice" we all have deep down inside.

She'll grow out of it... A lot of kids walk on thier toes... It's not a big deal.

I heard these things (and more) so often that I almost started believing them myself, but something kept nagging at me so a couple of months ago, while at the pediatrician, I mentioned it. Our pediatrician looked at Mallory's feet and referred us to the Pediatric Orthopedic Surgeon we saw today.

I'm not going to lie, I really thought we'd go in, he'd look at her feet just like the pediatrician did, push on them a few times, and tell us we needed to get her in braces. And I guess that's why people go to the doctor, because that's not exactly how things went.

He did look at her feet and legs, watched her walk, and had her do a few other exercises. He told us that her feet weren't really that bad and that he wasn't feeling a whole lot of resistance. I was surprised, but relieved. It sounded like great news. I felt kind of silly for even being there. But then he asked us if we wanted to go ahead and schedule her surgery. Umm... what?

 So I guess it turns out that although there's no real resistance (which is great news), her brain is telling her feet that she should walk on her toes. Ramsay and I didn't have a whole lot of time to process our options, but for now we've decided to try to correct the problem with "positive reinforcement". We'll have to really watch her over the next six months and correct her every time we see her on her toes. We'll look at her progress when we go back in January and decide our next steps after that.

I have a feeling it's going to be a long six months with many eye rolls from our sassy little thing, but I'm hopeful and really think we can kick this bad habit to the curb by the end of the year.

May 20th

A couple of years ago, I came across a blog post about the importance of blogging and I read something that will forever stay with me:

Mothers are the keepers of so many memories. If you don't write your story down, who will? No one, and it will get lost. That's just not ok.

I have always been really good at keeping memories. I take thousands of photos each year. I blog. I save artwork and schoolwork and awards. I write down funny stories and quotes. I write my babies letters and record milestones. I even interview them from time to time to help me remember exactly who they were at certain points in their life. And then, at the end of each year, I put all those little treasures into a memory book for each of them. Is it a lot of work? Yes. But it's never been difficult. Probably because the memories themselves weren't difficult. But then we lived through the events of May 20, 2013 and those that have since followed and I have yet to write them down.

But today I've decided to do just that. These are my memories of Monday, May 20, 2013...

We woke up Monday morning, still recovering from a weekend in Texas. We were all a little tired and already missing our friends and family. A tornado had hit the cities of Shawnee and Carney the night before and it was on the news. I remember the weatherman saying that the weather would be severe again that day and to prepare. My dad texted me and asked me if we were ok (from the previous night's storms) and I told him that we had been in the car on our way back from Texas and had missed the whole thing, but that we were supposed to "have it bad again today". Quite possibly the understatement of the year. 

After 2.5 years in Oklahoma, I knew the bad weather drill -- pack an emergency bag, make sure the flashlights have batteries, get the helmets out, and keep your phone charged. And that's exactly what I did. I grabbed a duffle bag and loaded it with four water bottles, diapers for Gatlin and Emelyn, wipes, a nursing cover, a small flashlight, favorite stuffed animals, and Gatlin's blanket. Mind you, I have only had to do this one other time and it was in 2011 so I really had no clue what I was doing. I also scrounged up three bike helmets from the garage for each of the kids. From that point on, we continued with our day as usual.

I would say around noon, maybe a little after, things started getting serious and reality started to sink in. The weathermen were telling us to prepare for severe weather, but I still wasn't in panic mode or really even that concerned. And then 2:00 rolled around and things got really intense, really quick. Ramsay texted me and ask if I had the TV on. I did not. Then he told me that the storm was headed right toward him. I immediately turned on the weather. The storm that they were concerned about would hit Moore between 2:47 and 2:50. I still wasn't scared or freaking out at that point. Ramsay asked me to go unlock the gate in the backyard that leads to the neighbor's shelter and I told him that it was raining too hard. And then the following conversation occured via text:

May 20, 2013, 2:30 PM

Ramsay: You won't be able to do it [open the gate] with kids in your arms. Please just do it.

Meagan: Gatlin is asleep. The girls are in the closet. What's your plan? Come home. They just named all the streets around us.

May 20, 2013, 2:54 PM

Ramsay: I will be on the road. I don't think it's safe. You need to go open that gate. Get to shelter now. Please go.

Meagan: I can't. The gate won't open. I tried everything.

Ramsay: Go see if the neighbor is home please.

Meagan: We're all ok. 

This is the last picture I took before putting a helmet on Emelyn and closing the door to the tiny coat closet.

Then at this point he called me and I could hear the fear in his voice. He told me to get a hammer and try to break the latch on the gate so I could get it open. I left the babies in the closet with their helmets and the cell phone and told Mallory that if anything happened, anything at all, to call 911. At that point she started crying and begging me not to leave them alone, but I had to so I shut the closet door and ran back outside. It was raining really hard and the hail was so big. I remember thinking I might get knocked out if it hit me in the head. I hit the latch over and over again with the hammer. I even tried to pry it off, but everything I did only made it worse so I dropped the hammer and ran back inside. When I got back to the closet, Mallory was having a panic attack and couldn't breathe. I grabbed her hands and made her look at me. I told her that everything was going to be ok and that I wasn't going to let anything happen to them. We took deep breaths together and she started to calm down. And then Ramsay texted me...

Ramsay: Are you watching the tv?

Meagan: No, it's not working.

Ramsay: There is a tornado on the ground in Newcastle. Take my radio in the garage and put the new battery by the blender on it. I'm on my way. Get to shelter NOW.

Meagan: Babe. I can't. I tried everything. We're in the closet praying.

Ramsay: I'm hurrying. Did you try the hammer? They are saying go to shelter.

Meagan: I tried everything. What do we do?!

The kids and I started praying. We prayed over and over again. I tried to call Ramsay, but I couldn't get through. I knew if I called my mom, she would totally lose it so I called my sister. Up until this point, I was fine. I hadn't cried. I knew I had to be calm for the kids, especially Mallory, but the second I heard my sister's voice, I lost it. I was trying to tell her what was happening, but I couldn't catch my breath. I could hear Gary England saying "You need to get underground" and something about May 3rd and I remember telling my sister that we weren't going to make it. If the tornado hit our house, we weren't going to make it. 

The red and pink areas mark the area of destruction. Our house is marked with a yellow star. It missed us by two miles. 

Ramsay: Stay put. It's south of 19th. Have the hammer ready for me.

May 20, 2013 3:20 PM

Ramsay: I'm stopped at Indian Hills. Did you try the hammer? Please tell me you tried.

Meagan: Yes!

Ramsay: I can't get there. I don't know what to do.

Meagan: Oh, God.

Ramsay: Can you try again? Go around. You have to.

Meagan: I tried everything.

Ramsay: Just run. You couldn't break it?

Meagan: No!

Ramsay: Pull it at the bottom as hard as you can and try to break it.

Meagan: I did!

While all this is going on, I'm getting texts from friends telling me to get to a shelter. They sent me pictures of the TV screen showing a giant tornado. To say I was terrified doesn't even come close. I just remember thinking, "I can't protect these babies. How am I going to keep all of them safe? It's my job to keep them safe." We prayed and prayed in that tiny closet. I had a few of my friends trying to keep me updated on where the tornado was. One at a time, I got texts saying we were safe and that it had passed us and was now on the east side of I-35, but I didn't open the closet door. I was too afraid.

Ramsay: I'm moving.

Meagan: I think it passed us.

May 20, 2013, 3:35 PM

Meagan: Ramsay! Where are you?

Ramsay: Post office is gone. Warren is very bad. I think I need to help. This is horrible.

Meagan: Come home! Where are you? The sirens are going off again.

Ramsay: I can't get through to call you. Let me know if you get this. I am in heavy traffic and trying to get to you.

I tried calling him several times and finally got through. He was south of the damaged area by the Target off 19th street, but we were north and there was no way for him to get through the destruction and home to us. I told him people on TV were abandoning their vehicles and running to their homes. He told me he'd figure something out and call me back.

At 3:40 PM I posted to Facebook letting everyone know we were ok. I was watching the news and they were showing Moore. It was horrible. The things they were showing were unrecognizable. Our community resembled a war zone and I knew our friends and family needed to hear from us, but the phone lines were down.

A little after 5:00 PM, I finally heard from Ramsay again via text. His phone had died and someone on the street had let him borrow theirs. He told me that he left his car at Southmoore High School and was walking home. Southmoore is four miles south. I knew he wouldn't be home for a while, but I was relieved to know he was on his way.

I will never be able to describe the flood of emotions and the sense of relief I felt when I saw him running down our street toward our house. We all hugged each other and held on tight, thankful to be together again.

We spent the rest of the night watching the news coverage in disbelief. Trees were uprooted and bare. Twisted metal, crushed cars, splintered wood, and debris littered the streets. It's surreal to see a place that's so familiar look so foreign.

Although this is by far the most devastating and terrifying thing we have ever experienced, we were very blessed that day. Our family is safe and together and we have a house that was untouched by the violent EF-5 tornado that ripped through our town. We will certainly never forget the events that occurred on Monday, May 20, 2013. It's a day that has forever changed us.

The next day, giant hail replaced the usual sunshine and rainbows during art time.